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April, 1987 "No Holds Barred" |
The helicopter is close enough for the Joes to recignize who's on board: Colonel Brekhov, Diana, Schrage, Horrorshow and Stormavik -- the October Guard. The Russians continue to shoot holes in the Joes' plane, forcing them to bail out. Lifeline hasn't got enough time to get the black boxes. While still in free-fall, Leatherneck fires a stinger missle and hits the Russians' helicopter. Their aircraft is going down, too, and the October Guard has to bail out over the jungle.
Later, on the ground, Wild Bill, Leatherneck and Roadblock have hidden their chutes, but can't find where Lifeline landed. they hear a cry for help and find Lifeline tangled in his parachute, hanging upside down from a tree. Leatherneck lowers Lifeline down, complaining that "this useless wuss" will slow them down and let the October Guard find them. "Lighten up, Leatherneck," Roadblock says. "He might have to patch you up someday." Leatherneck isn't convinced: "I'd rather bleed." They all head out into the jungle to find their crashed plane.
At the site of the crashed HIND, the October Guard members are patching up their injuries. Brekhov tells Stormavik to see to Daina's head wound before dealing with his own broken arm. "You see?" Stormavik says to Daina, "The Colonel cares about you..." Daina sees it differently: "What he cares about is the condition of my aiming eye." Horrorshow spots the smoke from the Joes' crashed plane. Brekhov refuses painkillers for his fractured and now splinted arm. "Dull my senses before the mission is accomplished? Of course not!" They head out to beat the Joes to the plane.
Meanwhile, the Joes wade through a swamp while Wild Bill tells them about all the dangerous animals lurking in the jungle. They climb out of the water, only to fiind leeches clinging to their skin. Lifeline stops Leatherneck from pulling the leeches off, explaining that they must burned off to avoid an infection. As they all stop to do so, a huge tiger emerges from the tall grass. The Joes are obviously scared, but Leatherneck takes aim to shoot the tiger. Lifeline stops him from shooting, explaining that the tiger's just as scared. If they don't make any sudden moves, the tiger will go away. And he does.
Not far away, the October Guard come upon a trail through the jungle. It's the perfect spot to ambush the Joes, and Brekhov thinks the Joes may take the risk of using the trail to beat them. The Joes travel along the trail silently until Leatherneck waves them all to stop. He whispers that the bend in the trail is a perfect place for an ambush. Then he smells a certain kind of smoke: "Russian tobacco!" It's Brekhov's cigar he smells but when he yells to take cover it's too late. Daina pops up from the bushes and fires on the Joes, hitting Leatherneck in the leg and shoulder. He manages to fire his grenade launcher as he falls to the ground. Schrage and Stormavik are hurt, but the firefight continues. Lifeline drags Leatherneck out of the line of fire. Leatherneck tells Lifeline to use the grenade launcher to break up the ambush. Lifeline refuses: "You don't understand. It's against my personal beliefs to injure another human being. I can't do it..." That doesn't sit well with Leatherneck: "But you can let them kill us?"
A moment later, Wild Bill is hit bad as the October Guard make their retreat. Leatherneck tells Lifeline that Wild Bill's blood is on his hands. Leatherneck tries to load his weapon, but Lifeline says he can't even stand to aim it. He lifts Leatherneck onto his shoulders and shouts to Roadblock to pull back with Wild Bill. Roadblock picks up the pilot and the Joes head off.
A short distance away, Daina patches up Schrage and Stormavik, telling Brekhov they'll have to carry them to a clearing and radio for medical evacuation. The Colonel says they'll carry their wounded with them to the crash site, believing they can still beat the Joes. "The Joes have at least two wounded also," Daina points out. "Do you think they will still attempt to complete their mission?" Brekhov knows his enemy well: "They would continue the mission if they were all wounded!"
Nearby, Roadblock stands guard while Lifeline and Leatherneck bandage Wild Bill's wounds. Lifeline says he can't do much about Wild Bill's chest wound at the moment. Leatherneck isn't surprised and tells Lifeline to take his "useless hands off him."
Later, the October Guard arrives at the crashed plane sitting next to a river.. Daina climbs aboard and removes the Firebat's black boxes. The Joes arrive and start firing upon the Russians, with Leatherneck riding upon Lifeline's shoulders. They start firing back and forth until Lifeline hears something -- engines coming down the river. Old wooden boats zoom into view, their passengers firing upon them all. Brekhov recognizes them: "River pirates!" Roadblock remarks that the deck gun on one of the boats definitely establishes fire superiority. They are all captured by the pirates led by a towering woman named Sarawak Sally.
Later that night, the Joes and Russians are prisoners below deck on the pirates' boat. Daina looks through a window to the deck above where the pirates are forcing their other prisoners to fight one each other. Sarawak Sally shoots the loser. They are all brought on deck, where each person will draw straws to pick a "champion" from each side. Horrorshow makes a insulting comment and is chosen to fight. Lifeline chooses the short straw. "But I am an official non-combatant. I can't..." While Lifeline protests, Horrorshow charges at him from behind. Lifeline spins around, knocking the huge Russian off balance. As Horrorshow gets up, Lifeline says he doesn't want to hurt him. The Russian attacks anyway, but every time he charges, Lifeline sidesteps or pushes Horrorshow aside until he knocks himself out from smashing into the boat too many times. Lifeline apologizes. Leatherneck is stunned, but Wild Bill explains: "It's called aikido. A zen martial art with no offensive moves. The purpose is to redirect violent energy away from oneself. Lifeline's a blackbelt."
Lifeline asks to help Horrorshow, but Sally refuses and intends to shoot him, asking the medic to step aside. But he won't allow her to shoot an unarmed man. Sally angrily tells Lifeline he's greedy. "You want your life, the lives of your friends and the lives of your enemies! You want everything!" She notes that they are all willing to kill for the black boxes and assumes he wants them, too. Lifeline tells her they're not worth more lives, and says he will tell her the boxes' secret if she spares the Russians' lives. She agrees and Lifeline tells her, even explaining that Cobra will pay handsomely for them. Leatherneck can't believe it and has to be held back by Roadblock. "You skunk! That was our objective you just gave away!" Lifeline says that if he didn't buy back the lives of the October Guard, their death would be on his hands. "I'm sorry. I can't play it any other way..." Sally laughs and tells them they are all free to go "simply because one of you has the courage of his convictions!" But she offers the black boxes to the "river spirits", tossing them into the water below "..in celebration of the continuance of valor." The boats head off, leaving the black boxes behind.Commentary: In "No Holds Barred", the action and the Joes' mission seem secondary to the character interactions, particularly between Lifeline and Leatherneck. This is the only issue to feature Lifeline in a prominent role, and here he matches the cartoon version of his character fairly closely. He's a pacifist and doesn't let anyone else's opinion bother him. Leatherneck remains the stubborn "tough guy" Marine, unwillingly to see Lifeline as anything but a coward. The story could've taken the predictable route and had Leatherneck learn to respect Lifeline. Instead, Leatherneck's view of Lifeline changes very little, and that doesn't phase Lifeline one bit.
The October Guard return once more in the issue, and as usual, they aren't out to stop the Joes or kill the enemy. They are just after their mission's objective and aside from which side their on, they really don't appear to be villains. Of course, this is the reason why the October Guard stories were so popular with readers.
"No Holds Barred" is a mostly serious story, but there are still a few touches of humor. When Roadblock picks up Wild Bill to carry him to safety, he's wearing the pilot's cowboy hat. It's also fun to see Lifeline try to explain that he's a non-combatant while he's being forced to fight for his life at gunpoint. The only negative aspect of the story is the out-of-nowhere appearance of river pirates that just don't seem to fit into the story.Return to the main page.