G.I. JOE #5
'Tanks' for the
Memories...
Cover Date: November, 1982
Scripter: Larry Hama
Pencils: Don Perlin
Inks: Jon D'Agostino and
Mike Esposito
Letters: Jim Novak
Colors: Stan Goldberg
Editor: Tom DeFalco
Commander: Jim Shooter

"Yeah, well, that's why we're the good guys!"
— General Flagg

Summary:  On the heavy equipment level of the Pit, Steeler, Breaker and Clutch are washing the Mobat tank for its appearance in the Armed Forces Day parade in New York city. Scarlett can't understand why their interest in the tank is more than military. The Joes explain all the tank's systems to her. Steeler tells her that General Flagg is planning to drive the Mobat past the Joint Chiefs at the parade to prove that the special tank looks just like an average tank. Meanwhile, an Army officer boards a plane at LaGuardia to go to Washington. As he passes the security arch, an X-ray camera takes a picture of the briefcase and the message inside telling about the Mobat. The film passes from courier to courier until it reaches Cobra headquarters and Cobra Commander, who is in the middle of target practice using G.I. Joe-team-shaped targets.

At the reviewing stand at the parade, General Flagg is waiting with the other generals for the Mobat to pass. On the parade route on Fifth Avenue, Breaker, Steeler and Clutch are stuck between the "Nautilus at the North Pole" float and the Springfield Drum and Bugle Corps. While the Joes are talking, Clutch mentions that the tank isn't carrying any live ammo. The parade stops to let crosstown traffic through. The band unfurls banners on either side of the tank, as if it's part of the show to make the tank disappear, but Steeler knows nothing about it. Behind the Mobat, the Nautilus float opens up huge steel doors. The Joes realize it's a trap to steal the tank and Clutch steps on the gas and the Mobat takes off down the street. The Springfield Drum and Bugle Corps takes out their weapons and spreads out to trap the tank.

The Mobat gets stuck in traffic as the band, revealed to be Cobras advances on the tank. With the radio jammed, Clutch takes off down the sidewalk to avoid the traffic. Breaker turns up the Mobat' loudspeaker and tells the pedestrians to clear the sidewalk and the tank turns down Madison Avenue. The Mobat hides out in a construction site while the Cobras search. Clutch notices that one of the Cobras is using a back-pack radio to talk to Cobra Commander. With the pack's short range, Cobra Commander must be nearby!

Later, the Cobras can't find the tank, but Cobra Commander's sensors say that the Mobat is right in the middle of Central Park. The Cobras arrive, but find no tank, until the Mobat rises out of the pond in the middle of the park. Before the Cobras are ready to fire on what they think is a defenseless tank, a loud "BLAMM!" comes from the tank. Steeler calls it a warning shot and the Cobras surrender. Later on, the Mobat continues on the parade route with the band in custody marching in front of the tank. The generals are upset that Flagg allowed the tank to be in the parade covered in mud and water.

Suddenly, Clutch notices sensor activity comong from somewhere and shouts that he knows where the Cobra command post is. He tells Steeler and Breaker to "dismount" and drives the Mobat right towards the reviewing stand. The generals jump off the stand as Flagg pulls out his pistol to stop Clutch. The tank smashes into the reviewing stand as Flagg jumps clear, his .45 in hand. But Cobra soldiers run out from under the stands out of their hidden command post. Cobra Commander and the Baroness emerge but before Flagg can fire on the commander, he stands in the midst of a girl scout troop with his pistol, taunting Flagg that his honor makes him a bad military man. Despite what Flagg says, the commander knows he won't fire on him. He escapes, grazing Flagg in the head with a shot from his gun. Clutch asks Flagg why he, the captain of the Army pistol team, didn't pick off the commander when he had the chance.
"Yeah, Well," says Flagg, "That's why we're the good guys!"
"Huh?"
"Never mind..."

Back at the Pit, Scarlett dresses Flagg's head wound while Steeler recounts what happened. But Flagg can't understand how they fired a warning shot with no ammo. Clutch tells him that they just cranked up the speakers as loud as they went and popped one of Breaker's bubble gum bubbles into the microphone, which sounds a lot like a tank firing. Flagg is impressed: "Son-of-a-gun!"

Commentary: "'Tanks' for the Memories..." (another horrible pun) is a fun if not somewhat silly story. When the Army courier's message is "X-ray"ed the long list of couriers makes it seem that Cobra has hidden spies everywhere. We soon find Cobra Commander practicing his shooting on targets that resemble Snake-Eyes, Scarlett and Stalker. The most significant part of the story is the first mention of "Springfield." That town will later be revealed as the secret Cobra headquarters. Why did Larry Hama choose the name "Springfield?" As one of the generals puts it when Flagg mentions the Drum and Bugle Corps, "Springfield? Which one? There must be one Springfield in every state in the Union!" More humor comes when Steeler uses the gun sight on full magnification to take a closer look at one of the majorettes to, as he says, "keep abreast of the rear-guard situation. Some sexist tendencies that would've been erased in most comics, and not even hinted at in the cartoon. But after all, they are soldiers. There's also some typical New York jokes with angry drivers yelling at Steeler as the tank moves through traffic.

On the characterization side of things, Flagg's character is fairly strong. He's ready to take stop his own man with his pistol but he wasn't willing to risk anyone's lives when Cobra Commander taunted him. Also, we find out he was the head of the Army pistol team. So far, it seems that Steeler Breaker and Clutch are some of Hama's favorite "crude army-guy" characters. Cobra Commander is still his arrogant self as he fires on Flagg, shouting "But you are weak, Flagg -- and I am strong!" And Breaker's annoying gum-chewing habit turns into a heroic trait, and the bubble trick is pretty funny when you think about it. Terrorists beaten by bubble gum! It's funnier when the terrorists include drum majors with bazookas.

Now here's the critical section: Not much this time around. It seems a little unnecessary to have Cobra Commander stand in the middle of a girl scout troop. A crowd of people would have sufficed. But I guess only Cobra Commander would sink so low. Also, it seems a little unrealistic for Cobra Commander to miss Flagg and "graze" him at such close range. Of course, maybe he just didn't want to shoot a U.S. Army general in the head in front of hundreds of witnesses. On the technical side, the Mobat isn't supposed to have room for three Joes, at least as far as the toy goes, but that's minor. Other than that, the story is a fun, simple story with a little drama at the end with the portrayal of General Flagg.

First Appearances:

  • Geography: First mention of "Springfield," but not as Cobra HQ
Reprinted in:
  • G.I. JOE Comics Magazine #2 (February 1987). Digest format from Marvel Comics. Includes issues #3 and #4.
  • Tales of G.I. Joe #5 (May 1988). Reprint series from Marvel.
  • G.I. JOE: Volume 1 (May 2002). A trade paperback collection from Marvel. Includes issues #1-10.
  • A version of the issue was released by Hasbro in 2004, packaged with three action figures, including comic-based action figures of a Cobra officer, Steeler and the original General Flagg (an earlier figure was released, but that character was said to be the elder Flagg's son). It included no ads and all references to Marvel were removed.
  • Classic G.I. JOE: Volume 1 (January 2009). A trade paperback collection from IDW Publishing. Aside from some slight changes made to the cover, this is a reprint of the earlier Marvel collection. Includes issues #1-10.
  • G.I. JOE: Best Worst of Cobra Commander (May 2009). Part of a series of reprints from IDW. Also includes issues #1, 16, 38, 55 and 61.